I am Ann Coulter

Today would have been the day I posted the last in my series on men, titled, “In Danger From The Outside World.” But, I’ve had to postpone because several events have occurred in the last two weeks that have prompted me to make this announcement:

I am Ann Coulter.

That’s right. She and I are the same person.

Look - this chart (Chart I) will prove it:

                                     Patricia V. Davis                          Ann Coulter

Though this chart does not show much similarity, if you look at our photos, you will see that Ann and I are wearing a similar beige, sleeveless blouse.

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Ann Coulter

Therefore, because we have this one thing in common, Ann and I are identical.

Have I proven that point?

I hope not.

Now look at this chart (Chart II) :

Jesus Christ’s Beliefs                                                         Ann Coulter’s Beliefs

My question is this: If you don’t believe me when I say that Ann Coulter and I are one and the same, because we have beige blouses in common, why do we believe Ann Coulter when she claims to be ‘Christian,’ just because she has one thing in common with real Christians, which is, that she believes Jesus Christ is the Lord? After that, she deviates from Christian doctrine remarkably.

One cannot be a Christian “conservatively.” It’s all or nothing. Either one believes Jesus Christ is the Lord and Saviour and follows His Teachings (see Chart II) or one is not really a Christian.

You might ask, why do people say they’re Christians and try to get us to believe it, when they really aren’t Christians? The answer is the “Playground Principle.”

On a playground, it’s always the weakest kid who gets picked on. In order to protect himself, he has to have a tough, intimidating mouth, or another really big kid on his side.

Well, who’s a bigger kid than God?

The idea that we can annihilate all our enemies by invading their countries and/or taking over their governments is such a weak idea that it needs a big mouth and God backing it up, in an attempt to be impressive. That’s what these so-called “Conservative Christians” - I will coin a new term here and call them “Coulter Christians” because it’s much more appropriate - are attempting to do. By telling us that we are “idiots,” or “sick” or “ridiculous” because we see the weakness behind this methodology and by saying they have ‘God’ on their side, they are trying to intimidate us.

It also serves another purpose. Divisionist tactics and power in numbers. If we take Coulter Christians at their word that they really are Christians, we begin to view Christianity itself with disdain. That disparaging attitude puts true Christians everywhere on the defensive. For an example of this, I invite you to read this heartfelt post.

By deriding all Christians, we're no better than those who hate all Muslims.

How can we tell the difference between ‘true Christians’ and ‘Coulter Christians?’ To quote Jesus of Nazareth again, “by the fruit they bear.”

Here is an example of the fruit that true Christianity bears:

Irish Lucky Lass

The lovely young woman in this photo is IrishLuckylass, pictured here with her two lucky children. They’re lucky because she is their mother. I read this Lass’s blog almost every day, no matter how busy I get, because it’s an inspiration to me. She doesn’t write about world-shaking events, she writes about her life and how much she appreciates it, her children and how devoted she is to them. She writes about trying in all the ways she knows to be a good mother, a good daughter, a productive, loving human being.

IrishLuckyLass has had more than a fair share of trials in her life. But you might be tempted to dismiss them, because no matter what tragic thing has happened to her, she writes about finding, if not some good in it or some lesson to be learned, then at least some humour in it, as though bad fortune came her way so she could turn it into a good story for us all. Her Christianity has not made her bitter, angry or vengeful. Quite the contrary, the worst thing I’ve ever heard her say in her writings about the man she loved who betrayed her and his two remarkably beautiful children with her, is to call him (and I love this) “ass hat.”

When I asked her once how she managed to survive abandonment by her father, then a rape, followed by the desertion of her husband, (and more), she told me, “It’s my faith.”

Oh, but wait - she sometimes votes Republican!

Here is an example of the fruit “Synthetic Republican,” “Coulter Christian” mindset bears:

Adolf Hitler

We all know who the man in this photo is. The following are quotes from his speeches and writings and you’ll find them remarkably like Ann Coulter’s and those of some other so-called Christians we know: (Replace the word ‘Jew’ for ‘Arab’ or ‘Muslim’)

2.“Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord.” ---Mein Kampf

4. “We were convinced that the people needs and requires this faith. We have therefore undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out.” ( in a speech delivered in Berlin October 24, 1933)

5. Thus inwardly armed with confidence in God and the unshakable stupidity of the voting citizenry, the politicians can begin the fight for the ‘remaking’ of the Reich.” --Mein Kampf  

6.“For this, to be sure, from the child's primer down to the last newspaper, every theater and every movie house, every advertising pillar and every billboard, must be pressed into the service of this one great mission, until the timorous prayer of our present parlor patriots: ‘Lord, make us free!’ is transformed in the brain of the smallest boy into the burning plea: ‘Almighty God, bless our arms when the time comes; be just as thou hast always been; judge now whether we be deserving of freedom; Lord, bless our battle!’”---Mein Kampf

Have I made my point?

I hope so.

Because if we can’t see the difference between those who say they’re Christians and those who act like Christians, just because they’re both wearing the same blouse, then I really am Ann Coulter.

And she’s going to be plenty ticked off when my new credit card applications go through.